It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize