her vagine was all disorganized.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
