So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Holy sore nipples Batman
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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