I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
