Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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