Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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