it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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