my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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