her vagine was all disorganized.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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