he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
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