so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
