wat bout pragnant strippers??
honey bunches of taint.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
