"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
