My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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