Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
