sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
