We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
