well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Say something about gay babies.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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