I must be too annoying 4 u.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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