ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
