She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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