He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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