I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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