I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
