And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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