If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
