It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize