it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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