you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
