ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
