I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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