We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize