ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
