I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
