How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
