so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize