I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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