Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
