I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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