I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
