3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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