This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize