He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize