party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
