Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think i have herpe
just one?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
he's single and there are thong briefs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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