I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize