"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I need water and some morals
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
