How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
