she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
