Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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