so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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