i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish I only lived at night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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