the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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