would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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