1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
