i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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