i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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