Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
